


Without a Trace

by thedrunkenwerewolf



Series: Heirverse: Phase X [6]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M, Nightmare Fuel, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Horror, alternative title: The Disappearance of Ichimaru Gin, even if its not assimilated into canon, i put this in phase X just for the heirverse references, slowburn horror, standalone story, story cross references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrunkenwerewolf/pseuds/thedrunkenwerewolf
Summary: after a nasty fight, Sousuke says in heat of anger that he wished he'd never met Gin. Words he didn't mean, of course. But wishes are tricky things you see, and when the wrong pair of ears hears him, the very next day Gin has disappeared. Gone without a trace. And life becomes very horrifying very quickly as he tries to get Gin back, cost what it may.
Relationships: Aizen Sousuke/Ichimaru Gin
Series: Heirverse: Phase X [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1304063
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I return to you with another Terry Pratchett scale 'oneshot' like Fisher :) funny story, Catsafari and I came up with the same concept on a walk one day and both set off to write completely different stories based on it. So it'll be cool to see how mine differs from hers.
> 
> Again, this contains mild nightmare fuel, heavy borrowing from Ancient Magus Bride, cussing, and a fuckton of angst (get your heart crushed in pre-approved ways or your money back :) there are a few heirverse crossreferences just because I wanted to play in the verse sandbox without necessarily committing to verse canon (which is why this is in phase X) but this is indeed a standalone story that can be read on its own. 
> 
> Updates should be semi-regular, and as always feedback is nice and generally keeps us writers writing&posting. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story a much as I did writing it. And if you have time and like The Cat Returns, go check out Cat's piece, 'The Disappearance of Haru Yoshioka'.
> 
> \- Wolfie xxx

" _Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening."_

_\- Terry Pratchett  
  
_

**Without a Trace**  
  


"You know what, _fuck_ you!" Gin snarled at him, stalking out of the room and straight out of the front door. "If you don't love me I'll go find someone who will!"

A snarl formed itself on Sousuke's lips as as he watched his husband leave, absolutely filled with blind fury. So much fury his fists were shaking.

"Fine, go!" he snapped, following Gin and lingering in the doorway as his fox stalked out into the night. "See if I care. It' not like I wanted you in the first place!"

He watched Gin visibly flinch at that, and he felt a vicious smile tug at his lips. If the younger man was stung by the barb, he didn't show it.

Seemed he was finally growing a spine.

He watched Gin's form vanish down the path until he was out of sight and retreated back into the house. They fought rarely, but when they did they were like fox and hound, at each other's throats. Vicious and nasty. Drawing blood.

He sighed as he shut the door. "Good riddance," he said to no-one. He should have been relieved, but his body remained taut as a wire. "Fucking brat."

He took a deep, calming breath that did absolutely nothing to calm him. Maybe a drink would calm him down. He moved through to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of whisky, drinking it neat. Usually he'd drink it with ice – on the rocks – but he was just too damn rattled tonight.

Only Gin could get under his skin like this. Rattle the bars of his cage and make him bristle for a fight. Just one of Gin's many talents.

He took a swig, emptied the glass, and poured another. Hoping it'd take the edge off. Gin had rattled his bars good and hard tonight and the sooner _he_ stopped rattling too, the better.

He blew out a long sigh as he sank into bed that night, the whisky having done its work. Thoughts of Gin still playing on his mind, but at least they were muted now by the alcohol instead of blasting full volume.

"Leave me then," he muttered, closing his eyes and welcoming sleep with open arms. "Go like everybody else does. I don't care."

He rolled over, got comfortable, let his body grow heavy. "I wish I'd never met you."

And with that thought in mind, of a life without Gin having even entered his life, he fell into a dreamless, drunken sleep.

. . .

Next thing Sousuke knew, his alarm was blaring. The noise drilling into his skull and giving him one hell of a headache. He groaned and rolled over to switch it off.

He rose with a pounding headache, and begrudgingly got ready to face the day. Gin still nowhere to be found.

 _He must be hiding out at Rangiku's,_ Sousuke thought, drinking his morning mug of tea. _No need to worry. He'll come back soon when he's stopped being angry._

He finished his breakfast and his tea and left the house to go to work. No doubt he'd see Gin there. Even if it'd just be for a few minutes for Gin to express his wrath in petty revenge and inconvenience.

Or the silent treatment. Which was a lot worse because Gin knew he couldn't _stand_ silence.

. . .

The time passed slowly at the office on a normal day. Without Gin there, it _dragged._ No, it _crawled_ along at the pace of an elderly snail.

It was past noon now, long past the time Gin was supposed to arrive. An hour later than the time Gin _usually_ arrived. And despite himself, Sousuke was starting to worry. This wasn't like Gin. For all their petty little squabbles over the years, Gin had never flunked off work. Well, not to his knowledge anyway. For all he knew, Gin played hookie frequently while he was away. Maybe this latest spat was enough to make Gin go into hiding.

He recalled his own angry words from last night. _It's not like I wanted you in the first place._

He frowned. Perhaps that'd been too harsh. Harsh enough to finally push Gin away for good.

He shook that thought away before it could take root to grow and strangle him. _Don't think about that,_ he told himself. Though the grim voice in his head snickered quietly at him.

 _Yes,_ it whispered. _But **what if?** What if he's finally had enough of you and your bullshit? Because it's about time if he has._

The voice laughed, even as he shoved it away. No. He refused to accept that. He was **not** going to roll over and accept that unless he heard it from Gin's own mouth. In person.

He contemplated it. He was a captain now, thanks to his overthrowing of Hirako. He could order Gin to come. They could have it out and smooth things over. Bury the hatchets. Or Gin could was his hands of him. Either way, they'd know where they stood and he'd know Gin was safe.

He breathed deeply, bracing himself, and summoned a Hell butterfly. He composed a brief message to Gin and sent the messenger on its merry way. Sousuke returned to his work to distract himself while he awaited a reply.

Fortunately the butterfly returned quickly, tinkling in the air to attract his attention. But what the insect landed on his outstretched finger, he noticed something quite odd. Instead of a reply from Gin to his earlier message, the butterfly simply relayed: _unable to deliver message. Please try again._

Which, okay, was a little unusual – none of the messengers he'd sent had done _this_ before. But he shrugged it off with a few of the usual excuses. It was a new butterfly. It hadn't been trained properly. He hadn't been clear enough about who the recipient was. Any other day and he might have twigged that something was wrong. But he was tired. He was anxious. He was a little hungover. So he thought nothing of it.

Instead, he recomposed his message and sent it again. Hoping it would reach its destination this time.

But the same thing happened as before. The butterfly returned with the same message. _Unable to deliver message. Please try again._

Sousuke's frown deepened as he summoned a different Hell Butterfly and sent that one away, hoping this one wasn't a dud too. That the message would go through this time.

But it didn't.

It returned with the same. _Unable to deliver message. Please try again._

And so did the next butterfly. And the one after that.

And the next.

And the next.

And the next.

Which eventually made him realise that something was definitely wrong here.

Very wrong indeed.

He sighed and rose from his seat, resolved to hunt down his fox himself, just for some reassurance that Gin was alright. Even if the man _was_ still ignoring him and had found some way to confuse the messengers just to avoid speaking to him.


	2. Chapter 2

His first stop was Rangiku's house. If Gin was hiding out anywhere, it's be with his best friend. He wasn't at all sure if she'd be in at this time of day, but it was a good place to start searching. So he raised his fist and knocked on the door.

He stood waiting on the porch for what felt like an eternity, but a few minutes later Rangiku answered.

"Oh, hello Aizen-san," she greeted him, a polite smile on her face. "What can I do for you?

He sighed, relieved she still lived at the same address he remembered. He didn't know what he would've done if she didn't answer.

"Hello," he smiled, feeling hopeful. "Is Gin here? I need to talk to him."

He watched her features erase the smile and move into an expression of confusion. "Gin?" she echoed, blinking and tilting her head.

"Yes, Gin," he repeated. "You know, your friend?"

He'd hoped her brain fog would clear then, and that she'd smile brightly and let him in. But she just stood in the doorway looking very confused.

"I don't know anyone with that name," she said slowly, with the utmost seriousness. "I'm really sorry."

Now it was Aizen's turn to be confused. "What?" he managed. This was a joke. This had to be a joke, surely. "Look, if he doesn't want to see me that's fine. All I want to know is that he's alright."

He tried to keep his voice even as he spoke, though he couldn't measure his success. "Can you just tell me that?"

He waited for her to drop the act and come clean. Say that Gin was inside and just didn't want to see him right now. But that didn't happen, and anxiety started to claw at his insides as the silence stretched on. The tension inside him building up to boiling point until she finally spoke.

"Captain, I'm really sorry," she shook her head slowly. "But I've never known anyone with that name. I think you must be mistaken."

A beat of silence passed, and the full weight of her words crashed down upon him. This wasn't a joke. She really didn't know who Gin was. Something – or some _one –_ had taken Gin out of her memories.

He swallowed the rather large lump that'd formed in his throat. Trying to keep his composure. Keep standing. No matter how much his knees wanted to buckle under him.

"Yes, you're right," he answered. "You're right. I must be mistaken. Perhaps I misremembered." He cleared his throat. "Or mixed you up with someone else."

He managed a little laugh, fake though it was. "My memory isn't what it used to be. I must be getting old."

Her lips shifted into a little grin at that. "Oh stop, you aren't that old."

He forced another laugh. It came out stiffer than the last. It was something Gin would say. _Ah shutup, y'aint that ol' yet._ And his knees _really_ wanted to buckle now. But he held himself upright. Because he had to. Because he had to fit into this reality and play his role within it.

"I'm glad to hear that," he smiled, trying not to choke on the memory of his lovely Gin expressing the same sentiment. "Well, I'll be on my way. I'm sorry for troubling you."

"Not at all, Aizen-san. Have a good day."

She closed the door quietly and left him alone to process the new information. If Gin's best friend in the whole damn world didn't remember him, then it was doubtful anyone else would either.

He turned and walked away from her door on stiff wooden puppet legs and trudged towards the town. He needed to make a trip to the Archives to confirm some suspicions.

. . .

Inside the Archive building, which was laid out like a large, very drab library, Aizen sought out the files he needed and sat at one of the tables. He'd sourced the records from the Academy, his own division, even the personal information records from the years Gin had enrolled and then been inducted into his division. Ready to sift through them all in the faint hope of finding some small trace of the man he loved.

He started with the division member records. Scanning the pages and files for Gin's name and details. But those turned up nothing.

Next he looked through the personnel files. Starting with the Seireitei residents. When those showed no signs of Gin, he moved onto the neighbourhoods outside of the city and then finally the Rukongai districts. But those were fruitless, too.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Afraid he might shatter into a thousand pieces if he so much as breathed too hard. This... was not promising. So far he'd seen no trace of Gin. None at all.

The Academy records were his last hope, and it was with shaky hands that he picked those up and opened them. Eyes searching the list of names for the years gin attended the school the year they'd met. Begun a wary courtship. Fallen in love.

He found nothing.

His hands shook violently now. Fear seeping into his from the outside in. This couldn't be happening. Wasn't happening...

He rose on shaking legs and strode over to the Research and Development files. Tearing file after file off the shelf in a last bid of desperation. Looking for something – _anything –_ of Gin in there. Some proof he existed. Some proof his entire life hadn't been just some fever dream.

He pulled out all of the archived Research and Development files on rogue hollows. Nearly ripping apart the files to find what he sought. All empty. All useless. He even went looking through the Grand Fisher file – so the monstrous angler had been dubbed by the R&D team – which had been... difficult. Seeing his own words and statements inked onto the pages stirred some primal fear he'd long thought buried since the incident. But Gin had made statements for the record as well. And if Gin was going to be echoed anywhere, it'd be in this file, as he'd given the more detailed account. Aizen had been knocked out for the count at the time, after all. But when even that file turned up nothing, his heart began to sink even further.

He must have turned nearly every page of that file. Once to check, twice to double check, and thrice to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. But the truth was there in front of him. Staring him in the face.

Gin did not exist.

He let out another deeply shaky breath. Even pinching himself just to make sure he wasn't stuck in a nightmare and would wake with the pain to find Gin sound asleep beside him in bed.

But no. The pinch hurt. And it was right there in black and white. Staring him in the face.

Ichimaru Gin simply didn't exist.

And if not even Rangiku knew who he was, then it might even be impossible to find him. More impossible to keep himself glued together into something resembling sane.

Because the man he knew and loved had just vanished without a trace. No proof at all that he ever even existed except in his faulty memory. Leaving him to question what'd been real, or if any of it had been real at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: big thanks to my packmate SesshomaruFreak for letting me borrow her Wolf Den Tavern for this (pseudo?)-heirverse thing, and for generally being so motivating and positive and encouraging - and for having faith in me when I had none myself. Go check her stuff out! Especcially if you like RenBya. My fave of hers is Healing the Moon which is well worth a read :) anyway, enjoy the rest of this slowburn horror.

He took another deep, shaking breath. Trying to stifle the fear that was now growing inside him. Swishing about his ankles like tar and slowly rising. Like the tar in his nightmares. Soon it would consume him – if he let it.

But that seemed too big an ask. He needed a smoke. A drink. Anything to take the edge off the terror and guilt threatening to drown him.

It would've been different if their last words to each other hadn't been in the heat of an argument. If they hadn't been nasty and spiteful. But they had. They _had_. And now there was nothing he could do to make it up to Gin.

Because Gin simply didn't exist anymore.

His whole life... gone in the blink of an eye.

_And the last words I said to him were that I never wanted him._

_He's gone. And it's all my fault._

He swallowed the large lump forming in his throat and shoved those thoughts aside. _Don't think about that,_ he schooled his thoughts. But his mind was an unruly student, and refused to listen. Making him want to collapse and curl up into a ball and hide forever. Because the pain of being without Gin was too much. Just _too much._ The world seemed too fast without Gin there to slow it down, and he wasn't sure he could keep up on his own.

Not that he had much choice anymore. He had to now.

But that didn't make it easier.

It didn't make his chest hurt any less.

It didn't make it any easier to breathe.

It didn't make the air around him any less frigid.

And it certainly didn't make the sky any brighter.

He tried to breathe deeply and count to ten. Listing off five different things he could see, four things he could hear, just to ground himself in this new reality.

Whoever or whatever had taken Gin had been very thorough. Wiping him from all the records as well as the memories of everyone who knew him. Except himself, of course. Whoever did this obviously wanted him to suffer. He still remembered Gin. How could he forget? Gin was the best thing to ever happen to him. He wasn't going to forget that. Ever. No matter what forces were at play here.

But that didn't change the fact Gin was gone because of him.

Whoever said that bullshit line about it being better to have loved and lost obviously never loved anyone the way he loved Gin. Because it was a thousand times worse to have loved and lost. Worse till to have Lost in the worst way possible.

He took a deep trembling breath and shoved the bulk of the fear and the guilt aside. First things first. He had to orientate himself in this new Gin-free world. If there was any hope at all of finding Gin, it would help to know the lay of the land.

He stood on shaking legs and walked back outside. The breeze hitting his face. Gods, even the air here felt foreign now Gin wasn't around to breathe it with him.

He checked his watch for the time, noting it'd probably be best if he showed his face at the office, even for just a little while. After all, people might become suspicious if he was absent too long.

After all, who knew what else had changed with the disappearance of Ichimaru Gin?

So with reluctance, he trudged his way back to the office, wondering what he might find.

. . .

When he opened the door and sat down at his desk, things seemed pretty normal at first glance. The paperwork was right where he left it the previous day, all the furniture was the same. Even the scratchmarks on the desk were still there. Seemingly, nothing much had changed.

Until he looked a little closer.

The photograph of him and Gin he kept on his desk had gone. The little dent in the wall from that time Gin had gotten a _little_ too enthusiastic in welcoming him back from a month long mission to the human world had been smoothed flat. The white cat mug with the green inside had been replaced with a generic shop bought affair, something the previous incarnation of himself would've bought for the office while he kept the good crockery at home. The inky pawprints from Gin's pet fox Cherry no longer stained either the floorboards or the desk. Because of course, if Gin didn't exist, then he hadn't saved the fox kit from dying in the rain and freezing to death. Poor Izuru was probably a lot less tormented as well.

Small things. Tiny insignificant things to everyone except him. Somehow that made it worse. All the minute ways Gin had impacted the world around him suddenly undone in a heartbeat.

He wondered idly if the world at large might've been made a better place now Gin had been erased from it. But shoved that thought aside as quickly as it came. _No. If the world's been made better for the lack of him, it's not a world I want to live in._

But if the rest of the world had no knowledge or recollection of Gin, it followed that he'd soon join them, too. _I have to hold onto him,_ he told himself. _Hold onto the memories, in case I forget._

The door opened then, and out of habit he looked up and called Gin's name softly. Only to be disappointed when Hinamori Momo walked in. Big smile on her face. "Good morning Captain Aizen."

_Ah,_ he thought, heart sinking beyond the floorboards. _I see this hasn't changed._

"Good morning," he greeted her, though his heart wasn't really in it.

"How are you today, Captain?" she asked him. All sweet smiles and charm. Trying too hard and failing to even be a hundredth of what Gin was.

"Not bad," he lied. Lies came so smoothly these days. In reality he felt like shit. "How about you, lieutenant?"

It was a nice question. A safe question. A deflective question, to divert attention away from the huge hole inside his world where Gin used to take up space.

Hinamori laughed. "Promoting me already?" she asked, grinning. "You really must need your morning tea. Matsumoto's your lieutenant, Captain Aizen."

"Matsumoto?" he echoed. _Oh. Of course. Without Gin existing to take his place as his second in command, he must have chosen the next best candidate. Rangiku Matsumoto._ "Yes. Of course."

Hinamori sighed softly and shook her head. "I'll get your cup of tea so you can wake up properly. I've left you yesterday's reports on your desk, okay Captain?"

"Yes," he said numbly. Sitting down at his desk quickly before his legs could buckle underneath him. "Thankyou."

_Although after this morning, I need a much stronger drink than tea._

. . .

The day passed as he expected it to. Which was really saying something, considering everything else about this day hadn't been at _all_ like he expected. The reports were a godsend of a distraction, and he was able to settle into his routine as he normally would. Though he still caught himself glancing up at the doorway for signs of Gin, before he remembered Gin didn't exist in this reality. But he'd get him back. Cost what it may, if it was the last thing he did, he'd get his Gin back.

Rangiku appeared at Gin's usual time, which threw him for another loop. But she was still as he remembered her, bright, cheery. Still with a penchant for drink.

"Good morning, Captain," she beamed in greeting. Of course, she wasn't his Moon. Hell, nobody else but Gin could be, but she was warm and pleasant and he did get on well with her. But he still couldn't shake the feeling that he was in the wrong world. That something was missing.

_Gin._

He must have been disassociating, because next thing he knew, Rangiku was waving her hand in front of his face. "Hey, come on Captain, shifts over. Put the pen down and stop workin'."

He did as he was told. Her Rukon drawl only serving to remind him of the missing Gin.

"Ah, yes, you're right. I must have forgotten the time."

She nodded. "Hey, so me and a few friends are gonna hit the Wolf Den Tavern tonight for a few drinks. You should come with us!"

"I..."

"whaddya say?" she grinned at him. "Wanna come hang out with me and my pack?"

He was blindsided. Trapped. A deer in the headlights. Caught off guard and on the back foot. Realising that because of Gin's near constant presence in his life, he'd had enough headspace to think, to keep on top of things. To keep his sanity intact and his head firmly screwed _on_. And so usually a question like this would've been anticipated, carefully avoided, safely deflected and the invitation politely declined.

But without Gin...

He swallowed. _Don't think about that._

"Yes," he said. Hoping his voice didn't sound as hoarse as he thought it did. _Anything for a distraction until I can think of a way to find him._ "I'd love to."


End file.
